March 2025: A Month of Personal Growth and Moving Forward.

This month, I’m diving into personal development in a way I haven’t before. One of my biggest goals is to follow through with this blog, even if I’m the only one reading it. Last month, I was full of motivation to start, but life got in the way. Instead of prioritizing this space, I let other tasks become excuses. This month, I want to change that. No more excuses. I’m creating a plan, and I’m going to stick to it as best as I can because part of my healing journey is about showing up for myself.

I’ve taken some big steps recently—starting IFS therapy and grief counselling, beginning medications to manage my dizziness and other health issues, and adding supplements to help with menopause symptoms. Looking back, I wish I had started this healing journey much sooner after losing Dakota. I convinced myself that time alone would lessen the pain, that eventually, grief would fade like it had with other losses in my life. But while the tears came less often, the pain remained. The grief remained. The sense of loss never left.

For a long time, I was caught up in worrying about what others thought—people who stopped calling, invitations that never came, friendships that faded. I spent too much time wondering why I wasn’t important enough to be checked on, why people drifted away when I needed them most. Eventually, I told myself it didn’t matter. Who cares, right? The Generation X in me kicked in, pushing me to bury those feelings. But the truth is, I did care. Maybe too much.

I’ve come to realize that I can’t control what other people do—or don’t do. The only person I have control over is myself. It took many conversations with my counsellor to fully accept that, but once I did, something shifted. I’m not the same angry, exhausted, and deeply lost version of myself that I have been for years. Losing my son and my dad in November 2020 only added to the weight I was already carrying. But slowly, I’ve been learning who I really am beneath all of that pain.

So, for March 2025, my focus is on moving forward—figuring out what that means for me, who I am, and what I truly want from life. I’ve spent so many years lost in grief, from losing my mom to my son and my dad, along with so many other losses in between. In these past few months, I’ve started to uncover what drives me, why I react the way I do, and how I can start living differently.

I’m learning that I’m not as angry anymore. I’m finding patience, understanding, and even compassion for those who have none for themselves. Yes, I’ve lost friends along the way, but in reality, they never really saw who I was. Not even I did.

This month is about continuing to grow, reflect, and take bold steps forward. And I’m going to share it all here—honestly and to the best of my ability.