Rewiring Habits: My Journey from Survival Mode to Intentional Living

Tammy Landsiedel
Mar 14
4 min read

During COVID-19 in 2020, like many others, I found myself stuck in a cycle of laziness, isolation, and unhealthy habits. With restrictions in place, the world seemed to encourage stagnation. Being laid off meant I had little reason to push myself forward. Fast food became my go-to, not because I loved it, but because it was easy and cheap. Staying inside became the default—not just due to the pandemic, but because I had no desire to be around people. I drifted between my house and my now spouse’s house, and when we both caught COVID, I stayed there for the required 14 days.

Then, near the end of the year, I lost my son, Dakota, and my dad within days of each other. Grief consumed me, and COVID restrictions made it all too easy to shut down completely. I stopped caring—about my health, my routines, my responsibilities. I convinced myself that it didn’t matter because the world was already at a standstill. I gained weight, felt sick all the time, and fell deeper into the void of doing nothing.

The Science Behind Habit Formation

Habits, whether good or bad, are formed through repetition. Research shows that it takes an average of 66 days for a new habit to become automatic (Lally et al., 2009). Unfortunately, my repeated behaviors created habits of laziness, self-isolation, and unhealthy coping mechanisms.

I started smoking again—an old habit I had once fought hard to quit—because it was easier than dealing with my emotions. Smoking became my crutch, my way to avoid tears, stress, and even hunger. I wasn’t just numbing my grief; I was reinforcing my own self-destruction. Studies have shown that stress and emotional turmoil can make bad habits even harder to break, as our brains crave immediate relief (Schwabe & Wolf, 2011). And that’s exactly where I was—stuck in survival mode, clinging to the easiest, most familiar coping mechanisms.

The Breaking Point & Taking Action

By 2022, I was back to work part-time, but my health was declining rapidly.

I was experiencing frequent dizziness and fatigue.
I had gained 30 pounds.
I was smoking a pack (or more) a day.
I barely had the energy to clean my house or spend time with my daughter and granddaughter.
My mind was consumed by constant fear of losing someone else.
I withdrew from relationships, only talking to people who reached out first.

Despite extensive medical testing—MRI, X-rays, nerve conduction studies, and bloodwork—doctors found nothing physically wrong. My health was deteriorating not because of some underlying condition, but because of my own lifestyle choices. That realization hit hard.

Something had to change. My spouse and I decided to start getting outside more—we bought bikes, started hiking, and tried to break the cycle of inactivity.

Quitting Smoking & Rebuilding Healthy Routines

I knew that smoking was killing my energy, so I made the decision to quit smoking. But quitting wasn’t enough. I needed to completely rewire my daily habits.

I started using a bullet journal to track my progress—building a habit tracker and a monthly overview to hold myself accountable. I read The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins and The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod—two books that helped me reshape my approach to daily routines. But even with those tools, I failed miserably at first.

At every step, I found excuses:

“I’ll start tomorrow.”
“It’s just one day of skipping my routine.”
“It’s too hard to change all of this at once.”

It wasn’t until I tracked my failures that I realized the only person I was failing was myself. My health, my mental well-being, my ability to show up for my loved ones—it was all in my hands.

The Small Changes That Stuck

Gradually, I started making progress: ✔ Getting up with my alarm (still a work in progress).✔ Drinking water first thing in the morning—before coffee. (I am NOT giving up coffee!)✔ Reading for 1-2 hours before bed instead of scrolling on my phone.✔ Drinking herbal tea before bed and keeping water by my bedside.✔ Eating healthier—I set a goal of eating 30 different plant-based foods per week, and I’ve stuck to it.✔ Starting therapy to help me cope with trauma and rebuild a healthier mindset.

Studies show that building positive habits works best when paired with an existing habit (Wood & Neal, 2007). That’s why I didn’t overhaul my life overnight—I added small, manageable changes to routines I already had.

The Journey Continues

I’m still working on consistency. I don’t always get up with my alarm, and there are still days when I struggle. But for the first time in years, I feel like I’m moving forward instead of standing still. My body feels better, my mind feels clearer, and I’m finally putting in the effort to take care of myself.

Healing isn’t just about letting go of the past—it’s about choosing how to move forward. And I’m making that choice, one small habit at a time.

Scientific References:

Lally, P., Van Jaarsveld, C. H. M., Potts, H. W. W., & Wardle, J. (2009). "How are habits formed: Modelling habit formation in the real world." European Journal of Social Psychology, 40(6), 998–1009.
Schwabe, L., & Wolf, O. T. (2011). "Stress-induced modulation of instrumental behavior: From goal-directed to habitual control of action." Behavioral Brain Research, 219(2), 321-328.
Wood, W., & Neal, D. T. (2007). "A new look at habits and the habit-goal interface." Psychological Review, 114(4), 843–863.